I know where I want to be. Two years from now, ten years from now, the vision is the same and it is as dauntingly clear as my reflection. Unfortunately for me, I am in the first of the world’s categories; I am a dreamer, a thinker, a planner, and no matter how much I want to, I cannot seem to become a do-er.
A week ago (yes, it has taken me this long to write this post – Exhibit A) I had my first ever full ‘day off’ from mum-ing. R would be delivered to me every 2-3 hours for a feed but otherwise, the day was my oyster. I went to bed the night before with visions of how productive and fulfilling it would be – I’m talking pampering, writing, reading, hot coffee and transforming my house into a spotless, Pinterest-worthy wonderland. I awoke, apparently defeated by slumber, with negligible motivation for anything except sleep, Instagram and junk food. Exhibit B: I spend the majority of the day indulging those three vices and then, in my last hour, made a mad dash to the bathroom for a shower to wash on some dignity before the day came to a close. And that was basically it.
So why? How is it that a full night’s sleep seems only to render me inert? Please tell me I am not alone in this. Can a dreamer become a do-er, and how? Rather than regret, I’d much prefer to wake up in ten years filled with contentment and some goals achieved.
On a brighter note, half-term has been fantastic! The kids (who am I kidding?) love having Daddy home from school for these periods during the year. For all its faults, this is definitely one of Teaching’s perks. National Trust exploring, swimming, cafes and Easter egg hunts are our memories, what are yours?