It can only be described as I imagine the Dawn of Time might have felt to a ladybird, had she been there… A shift of indescribable proportions on a being so minute and yet so important. Her world as she knew it becomes something so completely different. Where there was darkness and emptiness there is light, profound, gentle and permanent. With each change her heart swells within her chest, past breaking point, undetected.
Cryptic as this may sound, it is a melodramatic reflection of my love for my little family and how with every change and each addition, I become more of who I am and am meant to be. My husband and my two little ladybirds, you are the first sign of light in the darkness and its eternal glow. You raise me each morning with the will to power on; one smile is enough to undo hours of heartbreak, one embrace heals all wounds. I am pure weakness and pure strength for you all, and I live every breath in anticipation of your goodness, so willingly given and so quickly forgotten.
Marriage and motherhood are, by far, the two hardest things I have ever done in my life. I have lost count of the times I have, in my frustration and fear proclaimed, “I hate my life”, and, “I can’t do this anymore”, but I know that I am blessed beyond words for the gifts I have received in you. Sure it does not feel this way much of the time but for what it’s worth, I am the ladybird and your Love in all its glorious, varied forms is the dawn of my time. You are my beginning, my purpose and my dreaming.
I love you all.
x x x
Have a breathtakingly romantic Valentine’s Day everyone. An excuse to bask in and share love can never be a bad thing!